Let it go
by luckypenguinbuddy
Summary: This little fic was inspired by the song 'Let it go' from the Disney movie 'Frozen'. Sadly I have not seen the movie (Crime I know) but the theme of hiding who you are and being alone seem to tug at my heart just calling out 'Maura'. I posted this as the week 23 rizzlesfanficchallenge – Acceptance. Do not own anything and no infringement intended. Hope you enjoy.


**'Let it go'**

**Of course I own nothing Rizzoli & Isles (only wish I did…then there would truly be Rizzles). No infringement intended though inspired by the song 'Let it go' from the Disney movie 'Frozen'. I have not seen the movie (Crime I know) but the theme of hiding and alone seem to tug at my heart just calling out 'Maura'. I posted this as the week 23 rizzlesfanficchallenge – Acceptance.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_Can't hold it back anymore…_**

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_Turn my back and slam the door…_**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Thank you for agreeing to attend the Fire and Ice Ball with me, Jane."

"I told you Maur, nothing's changed." Expelling a dejected sigh, "I already told you I'd come before…you know…"

"Yes I know. However, when you agreed to come with me you had no idea my mother would be attending or that you would be wearing such a formal gown for the evening."

That was true. Jane had originally agreed to attend only after the medical examiner had promised that she could wear a woman's tuxedo to the event. The truth was that the brunette just couldn't say 'no' to her friend no matter what the circumstance even with her complaints stating otherwise. It may also have had something to do with seeing what a nervous wreck her best friend already was over this whole evening. So she caved and boy did she cave badly too. Even going as far as allowing the woman standing next to her free rein in picking out her dress for this evening.

Here she was, standing next to her best friend ready to attend the 'Fire and Ice Ball' in what she could only describe as the adult version of Cinderella's ball gown. A burnt orange floor length taffeta dress. Spaghetti straps with exquisite beading around the bodice according to Maura. Its saving grace was the small jacket she was wearing to cover her shoulders and arms. Never in Jane's life had she ever expected to wear something that looked like this. As a matter of fact, there was never once in her life that she dreamt of being a princess. She always wanted to be the prince riding in to save the princess on her white horse wielding her sword.

Placing steady hands on her friend's shoulders and waiting until the sad woman looked up. Locking hazel eyes with her deep brown ones she spoke, "We've already been over this, okay. This night is about you. It's one night and even though you know I hate wearing dresses, Maur. I think I'll manage to survive it…for you. Besides, I've lived through worse, alright?" Smiling as she pictured the comfortable clothes laying at the foot of the king size bed, "Plus I know I have sweats waiting for me back at the room." Giving a final shrug.

"This means the world to me and I'll never be able to thank you enough." Her voice cracked while fighting back the tears that had threatened to fall all day.

"It's okay."

The honey blonde was still struggling with her feelings for the detective especially now that she knew exactly how the woman in front of her really felt. Then to make things ten time's worse she found out her mother had decided to attend the ball as well.

Standing at the elevator waiting to descend to the hotels main lobby the petite woman's insides were rumbling just like the severe winter storm raging outside. Temperatures were steadily dropping and the current wind chill in Boston was -24 below zero. The ground was completely covered with a beautiful white blanket of snow making the roads anything but safe. The dangerous and hazardous weather conditions making the ultimate decision to book a room for the two of them to stay the night was only adding to her internal turmoil.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Just inside the entrance to the ballroom Maura was making her usual and expected greetings. Jane was being Jane. Her normal very attentive self, she had went to the bar getting something to drink, in an attempt to relax them both. When she returned with the champagne she handed one flute to the honey blonde keeping the other for herself. Not thinking anything of it she automatically placed her free hand on the small of her friends back. Maura moved away, quickly turning to introduce Jane to the couple she was speaking too as to not make her rejection so obvious.

The two remain side by side for the next hour making the rounds around the room until dinner. Each time Maura stepped away rejecting Jane's touches no matter how small…ultimately hurting the taller woman in the process. Maybe things had changed after all.

It wasn't long before Constance joined up with the two woman in the ballroom. Immediately the medical examiner put on her professional unemotional face. Every muscle tensed with a picture prefect posture as if it hadn't been that way before.

"Hello darling. It's so good to see you."

"Mother"

Leaning in giving her daughter a double cheek kiss before taking in the beauty of the petite woman's dark navy V-neck chiffon evening dress with straps crisscrossing in the back exposing just the right amount of back according to Jane, "What a lovely dress darling. You must have shopped on Newbury Street again."

"Thank you mother,"

Glancing over her daughter's shoulder Constance addressed the woman with her for the first time, "Oh, Jane. I see you've joined us."

"Nice to see you too Constance." It broke Jane's heart to see her best friend revert back to the 'Queen of the dead' persona like this in her mother's presence. Seeing this, the detective went out of her way to try to get her friend to relax but it seemed that the more she tried the worse it was getting.

After listening to Constance continuously referring to her as Maura's colleague, punctuating the latter word each time and refusing to use her name or title the detective excused herself because she was afraid she was going to scream or make a scene. Jane knew exactly what they were and she also knew that Constance was one of the main reason things would stay the way they were. Friends and only friends.

_A month ago just after closing a big case Jane had finally gotten up the nerve to tell Maura how she really felt. So instead of going to hang-out at the Robber with the guys for the evening as usual, she invited the smaller woman over for a home cooked meal. One that she proud to have made by herself. She had even paired the appropriate wine to go perfectly with the meal. Once the meal was finished and clean-up was complete. They comfortably settled on the couch together. Knowing she had been stalling Jane bit the bullet as it were and started._

_"Listen Maur." Running her hand through her hair, "Jeez. I don't really know the right way to say this so I'm just gonna say it, Okay?"_

_"Okay"_

_Taking the smaller woman's hand she continued, "I'm gonna out on a limb here and take a chance because I don't know if you feel the same way or not. But I can't hide it any longer either. I'm in love with you, Maura and I have been for a while now."_

_"Jane, please." Maura interrupted._

_"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I just needed you to know."_

_"I do Jane…but I can't."_

_"What?"_

_"My life. The Isles Foundation. I have obligations. We are both public figures."_

_"And…I have an Italian Catholic mother who is going to think I'll burn in hell but I don't care. I feel how I feel and I'm tired of hiding it. I love you."_

_"It's not the same." Maura weakly defended._

_"Yes it is and you know it. You don't need to make excuses for how you feel or don't feel, Maur. I said it was okay if you didn't feel the same way and I meant it." The brunette bristled slightly._

_"I need you in my life, Jane. I don't want to lose you."_

_"I don't want to lose you either but I'm not going anywhere. We're friends. You're my best friend and that won't change no matter what. Well…unless…unless you don't want to be friends anymore."_

_"I love you too. Its just…"_

_"You don't want a relationship with me or you're not there yet and you may never be. Though it hurts and I wish you were…I…I have no right to push you into anything you don't want." Trying to lighten things up, "Hey, after all…it's taken me four and a half years to admit it."_

_"We've only known each other for four and a half years." Maura's confusion showing._

_"Yeah, I know. You got me at the first crime scene we worked together. That dress you wore that day almost gave me a heart attack. How could I not fall in love with you once I got to know you better?"_

_"I'm sorry Jane."_

_"Yeah me too, Maur."_

Since the night of her revelation Jane had been trying to remain the best friend ever possible but this night was truly putting everything she had to the test. As if the night wasn't going all kinds of wrong the final blow came when Constance sat down between the two separating them at dinner. By the time dinner was over Jane had given up her attempts and started to withdraw. She would never make Maura choose her family over any type of relationship with her and Constance was making it clear that is exactly what would happen.

Maura sat and watched as the brunette slowly pulled further away even to the point of going off on her own to socialize. A very non-Jane like behavior. Was she losing her best friend? She had been aware of looks they were getting all night anyway. Who was she fooling other than herself she wondered. These people were all strangers but they knew just like everyone at the station knew. She is in love with her best friend. After all, she had been watching the looks and sideways glances as well as hearing the whispering going on all evening when she should have been spending time with her friend. Enjoying herself. Enjoying Jane.

It wasn't until the red-headed Jessica rabbit look-a-like at the bar who was clearly flirting with Jane that Maura made up her mind. Enough was enough. Putting on her big girl panties as Jane called them she acted. Taking in the first deep lung filling breath she had all evening she said, "Mother you are on your own for the rest of the night. I'm done."

"What are you saying darling. You can't just leave. You have obligations."

"I'm saying I'll be with Jane for the rest of the evening in whatever capacity she will have me. I'm done letting you dictate whom I am to spend the rest of my life with. And you mother…you will attend to your so called obligations and stay out of my life from now on. The Isles Foundation is you not me. Jane is my life and I need to fix the mess I've allowed to happen. Good night everyone." She excused herself from her mother's side and went directly over to the orchestra conductor before sauntering up to the bar joining the two women, not caring that she was interrupting their conversation, "Addie…" she tipped her head acknowledging the red-headed woman, "…would you mind if I borrowed Jane?" Not giving her a chance to answer she turned to the brunette, "Jane…would you dance with me?"

Taking the medical examiner's forearm quickly pulling her off to the side Jane whispered in her ear, "What are you doing, Maur. Look where we are. We can't…"

"I don't care Jane. Dance with me. Please?" The smaller woman begged her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Jane shakes her head as she takes the honey blondes hand leading them out onto the dance floor donning the Rizzoli smirk she says, "I'm gonna lead though."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Once on the dance floor Jane takes Maura in her arms placing one arm around the smaller woman's waist and taking the smaller hand in hers. Maura nods to the conductor and a moment later the music changed.

As the first notes of the song started she smiled up at the taller woman, "This is my song and I'll let you lead detective as long as you can keep up." Her smile turned into a very mischievous one.

**_The snow glows white on the mountain tonight not a footprint to be seen._**

**_A kingdom of isolation…and it looks like I'm the queen._**

**_The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside…_**

**_Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried…_**

It took a few awkward steps to get into a rhythm with one another. Surrendering control to Jane for the dance. Soon the two were doing the Viennese waltz around the floor, "Everyone's looking at us Maur."

"Let them watch because I've wanted to dance with you for a very long time. So lead me."

"Then you better hang-on and follow me doctor."

"Of course detective."

**_Don't let them in, don't let them see._**

**_Be the good girl you always have to be._**

**_Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know…_**

**_Well, now they know…_**

"You are very good dancer, Jane."

Jane shrugs, "What? You seem so surprised that I have skills."

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_Can't hold it back anymore…_**

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_Turn away and slam the door…_**

**_I don't care…what they're going to say._**

**_Let the storm rage on…_**

**_The cold never bothered me anyway._**

"Well you are very complex and now I'm looking forward to finding out what other hidden skills you have."

Jane tightened the hold on the honey blonde's waist giving the fingers intertwined with hers a squeeze. Then tipping her head toward the group forming at the edge of the dance floor, "I think maybe they're all jealous…wishing they could be me out here dancing with the most beautiful woman at the ball. And you are…very beautiful, Maura."

"You are beautiful, Jane and it has nothing to do with that dress you are wearing for me tonight."

"This dance would be better if I wore the tux and not these damn heels."

Maura chuckles, "I love that dress on you."

"I know you do."

**_It's funny how some distance…makes everything seem small…_**

**_And the fears that once controlled me…can't get to me at all…_**

**_It's time to see what I can do. To test the limits and break through._**

**_No right, no wrong, no rules for me…_**

**_I'm free…_**

"I want you to know I'm done pretending, Jane. I love you and I want everyone to know."

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_I am one with the wind and sky…_**

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_You'll never see me cry…_**

**_Here I stand…and here I stay…_**

**_Let the storm rage on…_**

Dipping the smaller woman, "Good, because I love you too." The room disappeared along with the people in it as hazel eyes stared into brown. The world consisted of just the two of them and the music as they continued to glide and spin around the floor.

**My power flurries through the air into the ground…**

**My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around…**

**And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast…**

**I'm never going back, the past is the past…**

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_Let it go…let it go…_**

**_And I'll rise like the break of dawn…_**

**_That perfect girl is gone…_**

**_Here I stand in the light of day…_**

**_Let the storm rage on…_**

**_The cold never bothered me anyway._**

As the final notes to the song played out Maura stood on her tip-toes pulling her detective down for a kiss.

However soft and powerful their first kiss was, it was shorter than Jane would have liked but knowing how the woman in her arms felt about public displays of affection the dance and the kiss meant the world to the brunette, "Wow! It looks like I have a little rebel on my hands."

"No. I'm just finally accepting who I am and from now on I'm going to live my life without fear." Biting her lip hesitating slightly before she continued, "And I'd like it to be with you…if you'll still have me, Jane."

Jane didn't answer she just lifted the smaller woman in her arms and twirling her around before bringing their lips together for a very passionate kiss leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that they were in fact together. A couple that were very much in love.

Two pairs of high heels lay discarded under a table just off the dance floor while their owners twirled and spun the night away. Both now open and accepting of the love their two hearts shared.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**You can find pictures of the dresses Jane and Maura were wearing on .com**

**I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you think of this little one-shot.**


End file.
